I laughed out loud at the bartender story here:
http://www.tommyspaulding.com/ , and I am BUYING his book.
It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships
We never know when we meet someone how that pebble in the pond is going to ripple back to us. If it is an authentic 'join-up' of genuine connection, it may lead us into wonderful and rewarding experiences.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Modeling Mutual Respect
In a recent post on the EFMHA forum, Mari Louhi-Lehtio of Cavesson Ltd in Finland http://www.cavesson.com/ExselEng/index.html, spoke eloquently of the need for modeling authentic relationship between facilitator and the horse(s).
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EFMHA-Open/message/7245
"...the relationships between facilitators and horses need to model at all times authentic, real and mutually respectful communication, trust and genuine affection... clients will spot (consciously or sub) anything modeling manipulation,domination, and different people/horses being valued and respected differently."
Sometimes, in facilitation, individuals get caught up in the activity and in the therapeutic goal and forget the horse entirely. It is the communication with the horse that is the heart of this work, and we want to always remember. The friendship model Mari discusses is different from the forced behavior model of horse training, even 'natural' horsemanship: "The basic principle of join up is to instill discomfort on the circle and“safety” with the human. Although that does result in the horse following freely etc., that does not represent truly free-willing co-operation the same way that horse friendship relationships model."
Just like real relationship is give and take, so it is in horsemanship and experiential activities. I like what Wayne Terrazas told me last Tuesday: "Respect isn't earned, respect is given. You give respect, and you are given respect back." With giving respect, the horse is giving its trust to you. Always honor that with genuine affection.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EFMHA-Open/message/7245
"...the relationships between facilitators and horses need to model at all times authentic, real and mutually respectful communication, trust and genuine affection... clients will spot (consciously or sub) anything modeling manipulation,domination, and different people/horses being valued and respected differently."
Sometimes, in facilitation, individuals get caught up in the activity and in the therapeutic goal and forget the horse entirely. It is the communication with the horse that is the heart of this work, and we want to always remember. The friendship model Mari discusses is different from the forced behavior model of horse training, even 'natural' horsemanship: "The basic principle of join up is to instill discomfort on the circle and“safety” with the human. Although that does result in the horse following freely etc., that does not represent truly free-willing co-operation the same way that horse friendship relationships model."
Just like real relationship is give and take, so it is in horsemanship and experiential activities. I like what Wayne Terrazas told me last Tuesday: "Respect isn't earned, respect is given. You give respect, and you are given respect back." With giving respect, the horse is giving its trust to you. Always honor that with genuine affection.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Welcome to the ASSETS Blog. For some time I thought of doing a blog for the site, and today I came across something I wanted to share, so this is a good time to do so. Relax and read for your inspiration and solace. The http://www.equineassistedassets.com/ site is for sharing, not for selling anything or enticing you into a monetized membership forum. Not saying that some of those do not have value, because I think they do. My philosophy is simply a bit different. It follows more the thought expressed in the old book THE MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION by Lloyd C. Douglas, give freely and receive your own opportunities to expand your abilities - your assets. The thought is based upon a scripture, and you have to read the book to find out what it is. I read once that more Bibles were sold when this book was printed than any other time in the Bible's history.
Some folks are suffering in the perceived 'recessionary' economy. Programs have been shut down or moved to different sites to regroup. Upheaval of some sort has been all around us. There was even an earthquake quite near me - in Tennessee of all places. At one point, our primary business of 37 years was in jeopardy due to a supplier's difficulties. Stress has visited most of us. It has been a good thing for me, and has shown me my truest friends. I am grateful for the clarity.
I wanted to share a quote from David Spangler's most recent letter, #29, which can be found in it's entirety at http://www.lorian.org/ . David's letter's are sent to share thoughts and tools for the spiritual journey. He was one of the original teachers at the Findhorn Garden, and is IMHO, one of the clearest spiritual thinkers of our time.
Spangler writes: "We cannot even begin to exercise our creative potentials if we don’t look at the world as it is and see both the challenges and the opportunities we’re facing. But which future should I face? ...My answer actually is to look at ourselves as builders of the future as well as receivers of it (or more precisely, as receivers of the consequences of past decisions and actions). The essence of Odyssey of a Practical Visionary by Dr. Belden Paulson (available from Thistlefield Books at http://thistlefieldbooks.com/) is that the visionary, the mystical, the spiritual, and the engagement with subtle worlds can work hand in glove with the practical, the down-to-earth, the innovative, the political, the economic, and the social. These are not opposing sides of our nature. They are complementary. We need both. I feel a resource is overlooked that gets undervalued these days: the power of our imagination and creativity born of our wholeness and collaborative connectedness with the subtle and spiritual worlds."
In mythology, horses often symbolize imagination. In practical terms, they also embody and teach us collaboration within the herd - with humanity, and now Spangler is having us imagine a "collaborative connectedness with the subtle and spiritual worlds." This is also where horses lead us and instruct us simply by example. They know.
We get goal oriented, task specific, left brain focused - all up in our egos - and the horses simply know. We must learn from them, power up our imaginations and creativity, decide which future we will face, and then collaborate with the left brain to take the practical steps to achieve it. We identify our strengths and weak areas, and we reorganize to match them... and we keep one foot in the subtle realms, however we do it - a morning ride, meditation, yoga - whatever we do.
We are imaginative and creative beings. Let us be about reimagining our futures, freed from the fetters of fear.
Some folks are suffering in the perceived 'recessionary' economy. Programs have been shut down or moved to different sites to regroup. Upheaval of some sort has been all around us. There was even an earthquake quite near me - in Tennessee of all places. At one point, our primary business of 37 years was in jeopardy due to a supplier's difficulties. Stress has visited most of us. It has been a good thing for me, and has shown me my truest friends. I am grateful for the clarity.
I wanted to share a quote from David Spangler's most recent letter, #29, which can be found in it's entirety at http://www.lorian.org/ . David's letter's are sent to share thoughts and tools for the spiritual journey. He was one of the original teachers at the Findhorn Garden, and is IMHO, one of the clearest spiritual thinkers of our time.
Spangler writes: "We cannot even begin to exercise our creative potentials if we don’t look at the world as it is and see both the challenges and the opportunities we’re facing. But which future should I face? ...My answer actually is to look at ourselves as builders of the future as well as receivers of it (or more precisely, as receivers of the consequences of past decisions and actions). The essence of Odyssey of a Practical Visionary by Dr. Belden Paulson (available from Thistlefield Books at http://thistlefieldbooks.com/) is that the visionary, the mystical, the spiritual, and the engagement with subtle worlds can work hand in glove with the practical, the down-to-earth, the innovative, the political, the economic, and the social. These are not opposing sides of our nature. They are complementary. We need both. I feel a resource is overlooked that gets undervalued these days: the power of our imagination and creativity born of our wholeness and collaborative connectedness with the subtle and spiritual worlds."
In mythology, horses often symbolize imagination. In practical terms, they also embody and teach us collaboration within the herd - with humanity, and now Spangler is having us imagine a "collaborative connectedness with the subtle and spiritual worlds." This is also where horses lead us and instruct us simply by example. They know.
We get goal oriented, task specific, left brain focused - all up in our egos - and the horses simply know. We must learn from them, power up our imaginations and creativity, decide which future we will face, and then collaborate with the left brain to take the practical steps to achieve it. We identify our strengths and weak areas, and we reorganize to match them... and we keep one foot in the subtle realms, however we do it - a morning ride, meditation, yoga - whatever we do.
We are imaginative and creative beings. Let us be about reimagining our futures, freed from the fetters of fear.
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